Foolscap Tomes

The president of my school forwarded this N.Y. Times article to the campus: Informal Style of Electronic Messages Is Showing Up in Schoolwork, Study Finds

I don’t know much about the National Writing Project, but it is worrisome to me that the head of the organization cannot explain the function of capitalization and periods. TheFreeDictionary’s definition of “sentence” is, “a grammatical unit that is syntactically independent and has a subject that is expressed or, as in imperative sentences, understood and a predicate that contains at least one finite verb.” In other words, a sentence is a single, coherent statement that includes a subject, object, and action or description. Sentences are basic logical elements. The capital letter at the start of a sentence marks the initiation of the statement and the period denotes its closing. Without these (and other) grammatical elements, the articulation thought becomes ill-defined.

Grammar is our first exposure to symbolic logic and is the cognitive foundation upon which causality and critical thinking are built. Without these tools history can seem nothing but a random string of events, algebra and the physical sciences are completely unobtainable, and the individual’s participation in democratic government is reduced to his or her voting candidates “on or off the island.” Further, computers and other technological tools become magical devices or even minor deities whose behaviors seem capricious–ultimately unknowable and unchangeable other than by following arcane rituals or consulting a shaman or priest. Economic principles such as compounding interest (in regard to both personal debt and long-term savings) become meaningless and are ignored for instant gratification. Concepts such as predestination, manifest destiny, “droite du seigneure” and Lamarckian genetics all become plausible again.

In short, and imnsho, a culture that discards the early teaching of grammar, or abandons it all together, is a good basis for a dystopian science fiction story. Of course, it could also be a possible explanation of Rome after Marcus Aurelius. Did Commodus institute an equivalent to “No Child Left Behind?” ;^)

So I’ve been working as the manager for the IT, Tech. Svcs., & Support department at Flashpoint Academy since last June. I started just as demolition had finished and we opened our doors in September. Needless to say, I’ve been busy with a variety of technical issues from building the network and server infrastructure in a little over two months, staffing my team, and managing technical issues relating to our Avid ISIS/Interplay systems or our adoption of the Red Camera on our latest film project. This is why people seldom see me and why I am so bad about blogging or responding to email.
Along with all of this, I sill get to do more than a bit of live sound work. I ran the live surround mix at our ribbon cutting event with Mayor Daley in the fall, and since then have slowly been putting together a small FOH system for our larger events. There’s even a picture of me during the setup for our latest event on our CEO, Howard Tullman’s blog:

http://tullman.blogspot.com/2008/01/avid-and-microsoft-sponsor-make-your.html

I’m about three quarters of the way down the page, hunched at the Venice during line check. People always seem confused when I explain that I’m gaff taping strange things to the mic stands because I have seven open mics but don’t have a 1/3rd.
Yeah, you know what I mean.

Well, we did it. Brandy and I had a most wonderful wedding on the Winter Solstice at the UU Church of Elgin. I still can’t really express how truly happy I am. Pictures were had, but we were too busy to take any ourselves, so we await the professional shots and the various candids taken by guests. Brandy’s dress was a lovely Medieval gown of deep blue velvet with huge dagger sleeves and the guitarist played a variety of Renaissance and Baroque/early Classical pieces with Vivaldi’s

Also, we had several requests that we post the liturgy of the ceremony, all of which we wrote with the exception of the minister’s closing benediction which was cribbed from a standard Unitarian Universalist wedding ceremony.
Pawlak-Epstein Wedding Ceremony

Audience will be arranged in a diamond- or square-shape. Groomsmen will help usher people to their seats. Quarter callers, grandparents, and parents all get priority seating in the front row (the parents’ seats will be saved, however, as they are escorting the bride and groom to the altar).

Four of the six bridal party members enter the circle in pairs from opposite sides, and walk around the circle clockwise. Dan & Brandy enter in this same fashion, followed by the final two bridal party members who close the circle.

Minister:
Welcome all to this joyous occasion. We are met here to celebrate the joining of Brandy Ann Pawlak and Daniel Gordon Epstein as a married couple in the eyes of their family and friends.

Dan and Brandy share a spiritual outlook that views the natural world as an embodiment of the divine, and this ceremony is a reflection of this. The circle in which you are seated represents the rising and setting of the sun, the changing seasons, and all of our passages through life, generation after generation. The act of calling quarters–or the invocation of earth, air, fire, and water from the cardinal directions–is a way of meditating upon and drawing strength from the elements.

But what truly makes this ritual sacred is your presence. On this Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, you all create a ring of light around Brandy and Dan that shines ever brightly. And it is this light that they will carry in their hearts and pass on to future generations as they make their life-long journey together.

Our circle is now complete. Please let the quarter calls begin in the east.
East Quarter Caller:
From the East:
A steady breeze that drives the clouds across the sky;
a flow of words, discussion, communication;
gusts of breathless laughter;
a song with myriad harmonies, growing over time.
Welcome, Air.

Minister lights the East candle on the altar.

South Quarter Caller:
From the South:
A golden splash of dawn, the day’s beginning;
wrapped warm in a lover’s embrace;
heated differences of opinion, tempered by love;
the promise of comfort in the lighting of the kitchen stove.
Welcome, Fire.

Minister lights the South candle on the altar.

West Quarter Caller:
From the West:
A driving summer rain;
rivers swollen; trees, rocks, people washed clean.
In the lull between storms we find compassion, healing, and new growth:
the pregnant smell of a wet forest.
Welcome, Water.

Minister lights the West candle on the altar.

North Quarter Caller:
From the North:
A path of granite stones,
set between rows of vegetables and flowers;
the smell of baking bread all through the house;
sitting in the grass together, holding hands.
Welcome, Earth.

Minister lights the North candle on the altar.

Minister:

We ask that the parents of the bride and groom stand and give their blessings.
blessings unavailable

Minister:
Dan and Brandy, please face one another to make your pledges.

Dan takes Brandy’s right hand in both of his. Best Man steps forward to hold note card for him.

Dan:

My love, as we start this journey together, I promise you my strength, comfort, humor, and passion, whether the path is smooth or rocky, and especially when we must forge the path ourselves.

I pledge to you my partnership and love from this day forward

Brandy takes Dan’s right hand in both of hers. Maid of Honor steps forward to hold note card for her.

Brandy:

My love, as we start this journey together, I promise you my strength, comfort, humor, and passion, whether the path is smooth or rocky, and especially when we must forge the path ourselves.

I pledge to you my partnership and love from this day forward

Minister:
Please bring forth the rings.

Best Man and Maid of Honor give Dan and Brandy the rings.

Minister:

To audience: These rings of silver and gold, touched by both sun and moon, are representative of this circle of family and friends in which Dan and Brandy stand. The spiral engraving signifies the cycles of life of which we are all a part.

To Dan and Brandy: Wear and maintain them as a reminder of your union and the greater circle to which you belong.

Brandy places ring on Dan’s finger.

Brandy:
Wear this ring as a token of my love and affection.

Dan places ring on Brandy’s finger.

Dan:
Wear this ring as a token of my love and affection.

Minister picks up the chalice on the altar, hands it to Brandy. She sips from it, and hands it to Dan.

Brandy:
Drink, and never know thirst.

Dan drinks, hands the chalice back to Dan Brosier to put on the altar.

Minister picks up the plate of two cake pieces, hands it to Dan. Dan eats a piece, and hands the plate to Brandy.

Dan:
Eat, and never know hunger.

Brandy eats a piece, hands the plate back to Dan Brosier to put on the altar.

Minister (from the UU Liturgy and therefore not reposted here):

…
Dan and Brandy kiss.

Maid of Honor lays a broom on the floor in front of them. Dan and Brandy clasp hands and jump over the broom; audience cheers. Dan and Brandy walk out of the church. Bridal party leaves in the same pattern they came, only counterclockwise.

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

The clutter in my mind is in boxes.

Battered and dirty cardboard boxes that once delivered furniture, computers, 500 pieces of something essential. Banker’s boxes, Tupperware bins, with other odds-and-ends all stacked on top of one another in the dark. There is also some furniture: a couch or shelf or fancy chest, but all of these have become platforms for boxes.
These are not uniform neatly stackable cartons, sealed on palettes and ready for shipping. Mostly, the tops are folded together, rather than taped, with one corner of each flap tucked under the dog-eared corner of the next. One pile sits next to another of differing height with an old floor lamp laid on a precarious slant across the top of both, waiting to fall on the incautious.

However, they are all box-like, roughly square or rectangular, mostly beige, constraining the chaos inside into somewhat manageable and anonymous units for indefinite warehousing. There is little or no hint as to the contents of most of these containers. Occasionally, a tuft of red velvet or the spine of a book peeks out from the top of one. One has split at the seam, coughing notebooks and papers across the floor. Some bear cryptic labels scrawled with Sharpie across the tops or sides: names such as “Concept Albums,” “3rd Grade,” or “Living Room 5 of 21.”

One large metal shelf is completely filled with boxes marked “To-do by:” with a series of decrementing dates trailing back to the previous century. I have only a vague idea of what is in the boxes further back in the room.

Clearing my mind becomes “work,” an exercise in shifting piles and rearranging cartons to open up a clear spot–usually for the depositing of new boxes. Some stacks can–with no small amount of effort–be slid wholesale across the dusty floor wile others must be disassembled and redistributed to other stacks. When finished, I’m coated in a film of dirt and sweat and vaguely dissatisfied.
At some point soon I need to take some time to go through all this shit.

I’ve been a big fan of a particular brand of environmentally neutral personal hygiene products for many years now. Ron’s of Vermont (you know of whom I speak) makes everything from toothpaste and mouthwash to deodorant and soap, without animal testing, largely without sulfates or other environmentally detrimental chemicals, and in recycled/able and biodegradable packaging. They also donate a percentage of their profits to environmental protection organizations. Almost as importantly, I don’t have to special order their products by carrier pidgeon from a Tibetan-Gnostic commune two hours east of Eugene–I can get them at a variety of local drug and grocery stores.

There is one problem: packaging. Years ago, RoV started with different flavors of toothpaste, packaged in the standard aluminum toothpaste tube we all know and love (though I think it is recycled aluminum). They are white with green or blue or brown trim (depending of flavor) and generally behave exactly as tubes of toothpaste should, though I never will be able to abide the abomination that is called wintergreen.

Later in their growth as a company, RoV brought out a line of shaving cream–and it was good. It possessed all of the afore mentioned benefits of the RoV brand, plus I’m not allergic to any of the ingredients (many perfumes and dyes cause me problems) and the stuff works well on my coarse and persistant facial hair. Sadly, in their infinte wisdom the good folks a RoV decided to use the same aluminum toothpaste tubes to hold their shaving cream. This has the benefits of being portable for camping or other travel, and it also reduces wasteful packaging. I’d also guess that it was easier/cheaper for them to not commission a new design and tool factories for an extra container type.

However, as a man with coarse and persistant facial hair, I shave every day. Further, I generally prefer to shave at the sink, in front of a mirror as it helps me to avoid grievous grooming faux-passes and Van Goghian emergency room trips. This, combined with the fact that Brandy and I prefer to brush our teeth at the same sink leads to the crux of the problem:

The toothpaste and the shaving cream, which are embodied in virtually identical aluminum tubes, have been Feung Shueied into the same medicine cabinet.

Now, I have been aware of this problem for as long as I have been a user of the RoV shaving cream line, and I would love to guarantee you that one only brushes one’s teeth with shaving cream once. Unfortunately, while the frequency of this sort of mixup does decrease dramatically with experience, in the dark, at night, or in the morning, in a hurry and before coffee, accidents will happen. Yesterday, however, I entered into a new realm of experience.

I think I can safely say that one only shaves with toothpaste once.